For those of you who are getting lucky...
Let’s talk about sex!
For many of you bashful ones, this may be a subject that may cause you to click away from here and never return. But I’m willing to take the chance for I know there are many of you who would not mind that we address this red hot topic. After all, it is the ultimate and final consummation of our journey into exploring our sexuality with women, as women. Right?
So, let’s not run away and get all bashful about it. I’ve been doing some research (this time not necessarily the scientific kind) and will be able to share what I found out from some cool experts, the founders of a toy shop, so that this article is not necessarily anecdotal. (And you were expecting some good stories…) (At least not for now)
First of all, again, here is my disclaimer. I am no Dr. Ruth. However, I don’t lack the first hand (no pun intended) nor the second hand experience either. But since I did not want to make this topic too personal (please, I don’t kiss and tell. I swear), I thought that it would be best for some of the more “educational” aspects, to turn the floor, in this case part of this article, over to the experts. I will be quoting and referencing information from the very knowledgeable women from the store Babeland (formerly known as Toys in Babeland). In fact, I recommend when you’re done reading this article, that you click on the banner below and visit their on line store for many tips, sex advice and even great toys that may just spice your experience, whatever your persuasion may be.
You’ve gotten to that point in your dating/courtship, where you just want each other and are ready to go all the way. You know that as a woman you have a pretty good idea of what pleases you. You’re pretty much in touch with your own body and your own sexuality, so, you think you’re ready, but just like everyone is different, how will you know what the object of your desire will enjoy the most. Will it be the same thing? Maybe yes, maybe not.
I truly believe that the secret behind any, any type of successful relationship, whether it is in the boardroom, or in the bedroom, is communication. Instead of assuming what you think she may like, talk about it. Actually, it is a very sexy thing to talk about the things you would like to do with each other before you actually walk into the bedroom. Build up to it. There isn’t anything more exciting than anticipation and nothing more disappointing than wrong assumptions. So, talk with each other about your fantasies. Over a glass of wine, candlelight, whatever, and see where that takes you.
Now, as a woman, you have a pretty good idea of what to expect and the expectation or assumption I see appearing the most in the “straight” culture is that one of oral sex. I am going to let the girls of Babeland detail you on that topic since I blush too much here. We will start off with that today and I promise that at least once a week I’ll be presenting different sex topics as I find educated guidance on each. Today we’ll cover the topic of orgasms and how to go down on a woman. The information that follows is courtesy of Babeland.com. It is presented in part, along with links for additional information. Feel free to click away and always return here.
Orgasms: You Deserve Many
by Claire Cavanah
Sex negativity in our culture, especially toward women, can inhibit our growth as sexual beings and our understanding of our own sexual response. Fortunately, we have the freedom to question what we have been taught about sex, and to heal the wounds we uncover as we explore our desires. There are lots of places to go for encouragement on the road to sexual fulfillment. Betty Dodson's original masturbation manifesto Sex for One continues to school women in sexual self-awareness and satisfaction, as does her documentary video, Celebrating Orgasm. Our own guide Sex Toys 101 can help you lead you to orgasmic bliss with the help of a sex toy. When we choose to open up to our own sexality throughout our lives, there is no limit to the growth we can experience and the pleasure we can find.
For more and for the original resource on this topic, click here:
Here’s another good one!
How to Go Down on a Woman
by Rachel Venning
Cunnilingus is the holy grail of satisfying most women. So it's no surprise that some suffer performance anxiety. Cultural myths about nasty vaginas just add to the pressure. But cunnilingus performed well will endear you to a partner like nothing else can. So whether you're a seasoned muffdiver or are a late bloomer just getting started, here are a few tips to improve your technique.
- Lick her like an ice cream cone… Big soft licks from stem to stern with a wide flat tongue stimulate all the nerves in her genital area. Go deliciously slow to make her feel like a yummy dessert being savored, or speed it up a bit and focus more on the clitoral area to push her towards orgasm.
- Dive in. Build up the intensity level gradually. Once you're into it, use your whole face. Bury yourself in her pussy, get your tongue in as far as possible, use your nose for more pressure. Not only does this feel good physically, it lets her know you are really into her taste and smell. Hint: if your eyelids aren't sticky, you're not doing it right.
- Insert two fingers in her vagina while licking her clit. Curl those fingers up towards your tongue, capturing her clit and G-Spot between your mouth and fingers. As your tongue licks up pull down with your fingers; get a rhythm going.
- Let your lover straddle your face. If lying back to be licked is too passive for her, let her hop on top. From there she can control the pressure and area of contact. To make this position even more fun, get tied down to the bed before she mounts you, and maybe she'll even boss you around with firm directives: "stick your tongue out!", "open your mouth!" "suck it boy", and so on. Bottomy munchers will, well, lick it up.
- Mix it up. If all you do is lick up and down, up and down, ("fencepainting"), chances are that it'll get boring to your partner after a while. Vary your movements, add pressure, use your lips, breath and teeth in addition to your tongue, change positions, use your hands….Get your whole creative body involved.
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Most women orgasm in response to rhythmic stimulation, so if you're in a groove that is building her up, don't suddenly change what you're doing. Finding the balance between variety and consistency is the art to being an oral expert.
- Play the part. Combine your oral sex experiences with a variety of different erotic attitudes. Are you worshipping her pussy or are you controlling her with your tongue? Are you mystic lovers building an erotic energy ball together? Whatever your attitude, the psychic space you play in can make your sex connection that much hotter.
- Suck her into your mouth. Gentle suction is a nice variation on the licks and downward pressure of most cunnilingus. While you've got a nice piece of her sucked in your mouth, lick it while maintaining the suction.
- Lick her asshole. Use a barrier for hygiene, or if she is very clean and you don't penetrate, you may choose bare tongue on skin. The anal area is rich in nerve endings so all the varieties of oral stimulation—licking, sucking, nibbling—can feel wonderful.
- Add toys. Toys are a natural complement to oral play. Check in with your partner about whether she’d like a G-spot vibrator like the Nubby G inside of her while you’re licking away, or whether she’d like to wear a butt plug like the Nubby G for an added thrill. You might also like experimenting with edible gels, like Midnight Fire that heat when you blow on them.
- Love your job. Pussy munching is best when both people love it. Doing it should feel really good and exciting to the giver. As good as it is for her cunt, it hopefully is for your mouth. It's something you're doing together. If you don't want to do it, don't. Performing sex because you feel obliged will kill that spark of sexual vitality in you quicker than anything. Follow the spark of your desire and you can't go wrong.
How do you know if she likes it?
With your face buried in her cunt and your ears muffled by her creamy thighs, it can be hard to talk about how things are going. So look for more subtle signs of her enjoyment. If she raises her hips to meet your mouth, that is a very good sign. A lubricating vagina and swelling vulva and labia that spread open as they become engorged are a sure sign that she's responding favorably. So is a growing clitoris. An all over skin flush, rapid breathing, and writhing are clues. Clutching the sheets is excellent, and so are hands on the back of your head pushing you in for more.
For more information or to view the source article, click here.
Ok. So, that’s all for today. I’m off to take a cold shower. ‘Till the next one!
Photos Credit: Henry and June Motion Picture, Educating Lacy, India Daily.com
P.S. Here’s some info on the women behind this cool information site and women-friendly sex shop.
The Babeland Story: Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning opened the first Babeland store in 1993 in response to the lack of women-friendly sex shops in Seattle. The store offered top quality products, a pleasant place to shop, and most of all information and encouragement to women who wanted to explore their sexuality. The store's popularity with both women and men eventually led to two more stores in New York, as well as a thriving web site.
Babeland has received numerous awards over the years, including a 2006 and 2003 Zagat's Survey award. It was voted "Best Place to Buy Sex Toys" by The Village Voice and The Seattle Weekly.
Click on the link below, or the pink banner of the left column, if you want to visit their site. Great toys and great info!
TAKE ME TO MORE "HOW TOs"
All very well and good ... if I meet a woman. I suggest that you start with the basics, like how to meet a woman you may want to have sex with. I don't know any bi women.
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I absolutely agree with you! Which is why the title preceded with "for those of you who are getting lucky!" As you can imagine, being Gay Pride weekend and with all the events and parties going on, there are many people likely to meet up, go on dates, hook-up, etc. However, yes, I will be going over the "how to meet" women aspect. Thanks for your feedback. It is greatly appreciated and I'd love to continue hearing from you.
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