Finding your princess

 

 

So, the Gay Pride celebrations culminated in the midst of major noise and colorful parties over the weekend. The cover article of this wonderfully visited blog was very optimistic. It was about sex and orgasms. I was hopeful for many of you who went on dates and met new women and even hooked up over the weekend. But as the celebrations begin to wind down, we are doing a soft landing into our realities. And the reality is that many of you who visit this blog are hoping to find a tip or two on where and how to meet nice women, who are similar to you in thinking, and who most resemble what you envision in the ideal woman.

 

So, in the spirit of starting fresh, where we will assume you are a single-and-looking woman, who, after finally sorting out in your mind that you DO want to be with a woman, now you are asking yourself: Where do you go? And how do you successfully meet nice and real women?

 

Well, during the next few days, we’ll be addressing the most common ways to meet women, as we'll look at the pros and cons of each aspect. Since this is a topic with many, many possibilities, it wouldn’t serve us to try to cover it all in one write-up. So, I am going to go in depth on each aspect, over the next few days. So, I hope you find it enjoyable, and feel free to share your input, which as always, is very valuable.

To begin, today I will address the first and most popular way to meet women nowadays:

Photo credit: FSP.com

1. Meet her on line.- Many of you may not agree with me, but I am going to say it anyway. Call me old fashion and all that, but meeting people online with the sole purpose of dating or hooking up for sex, is NOT the best way to go. I have to acknowledge that some of you have had success, and I would love to hear your stories. However, it seems to me that due to the many potential pitfalls and setbacks, the risks of going online to meet new romantic or sexual partners outweigh the benefits. How many of you have started a nice conversation with someone interesting whose picture you haven’t seen yet, only to find out later that they are not what they say they are?  They end up being some creepy guy posing as a woman, or just someone that is far from what you envisioned, not your type? Or worse, someone flaky, unreliable, with unsurmountable issues, etc. What a waste of “keyboard time!” and even in some cases, of emotion!  And even sometimes, after exchanging pictures and voice verification, you still end up disappointed. Too many pitfalls! And if you ask for a picture, then you risk losing the nice and real people who just happen to be very private or very shy about sharing their picture on line. Believe me, I am very shy about sending my pictures to strangers. And I consider myself a nice and a real woman with decent looks!  Now, if you demand a picture before replying, how do you know if this is the real representation of the interested party replying to your ad?

 

What’s more, it is riskier when you are the one posting your picture or sending your picture first. Girl that is daring. And take it from me. People know me as a daring maverick. But I draw my line in some places, and here is one of them. If you are not out, or you are just curious, you are exposing yourself to so many other potential problems. Need I even mention the negative repercussions of posting your picture online with the purpose of meeting same sex partners! I find that a brave thing to do. Not because it’s wrong, but because there are too many people out there who are prejudiced, biased, ignorant, who could use that information against you in some way, sometime down the road. But hey, let’s say that you are out to the entire world,  and you don’t care who gets your picture, you never know when that post, with your picture, is going to come back to haunt you 10 or 20 years later.

 

Look, I know some of you younger ones, technophiles, will be saying, “oh, what do you know.”  And before you go any further judging my reticence of using the Internet for this type of personal experience, I say to you, I am the Internet Queen, babes! Like many of you, I’m also a technophile and I live and die by my Blackberry, my MP3 collection, my player, GPS and computers. So, please understand that I use technology for everything else, but this.  It’s like going on multiple blind dates. You are bound to be negatively surprised a good percentage of the time.

 

But should you still want to “hook-up” on line or romance a new partner on line, I am not going to hold you back. I’ll tell you that I’ve been there and done that, like many people I know. Yes, I have gone on line, like many of you, and I have had some success, but it’s more like finding a needle in a haystack. I find it to be a long, too long of a process before you even meet in person! But, like I said, I won’t deny that some people have had success. And please, if you are one of them and happen to be reading this post, I am serious when I say that we’d love to hear your success story.

 

So, let’s look at the most popular sites and site concepts that we have as options: the first and most popular I know of, because it’s a wonderful free networking service, it’s Craig’s List. God knows how much I love Craig’s List. In fact, CL is the ONLY place where I have dared to post or respond to ads on line. And yes, despite some of the scary posts, I have managed to find some really nice women posting for your average things such as friendship, kindness, going out, having goals, and those things in life that we tend to take for granted in the people close to us.

 

I do have a rule though. People I meet on line start off as friends. IF and only if we meet later on and sparks fly, sure, hey, I welcome that. The women that I have chosen to pursue further communication with; so far sound like people I would like to get to know better. However, I take my time. And I would like to encourage you my dear reader, you should also take your time. Because in the end, let’s be honest, the ultimate goal is probably that of exchanging some kind of intimate physical contact. And before you commit yourself to doing that, something so intimate and so personal, you have to, you have to (I cannot emphasize it enough), you have to know who you are going to be exchanging body fluids and germs with. Yes, that does not sound romantic or sexy at all, but that is the reality we all have to face. And if we are not careful, there are certain “everlasting” souvenirs that some people can leave us with. And you know what I am talking about. (Hint: It abbreviates into 3 letters).

 

I remember in my twenties being carefree, rolling with the flow and being open to all experiences. That is what I love about our twenties. We are open to experiencing life and girl we get laid a lot more often than let’s say, in our later decades. Trust me  when I tell you that. And perhaps my input comes from having become more careful and choosy about who I share my body with. But believe me, thankfully I was careful most of the time back then and avoided terrible outcomes, which tend to show up much later in life. And in the few cases when I was careless, I guess I just got lucky. But not everyone of us is going to be that lucky more than a couple of times. We cannot push our luck. So, I say to you NO, NO to meeting romantic partners on line. CL is fine if you are looking for other things but not when you’re looking for something real. You will be setting yourself up for many more disappointments than pleasant surprises. I use CL for buying and selling things, for hiring, travel info, etc. But NOT for romantic partners.

 

My Space.com and dating sites .- Another huge NO NO.  Do you know how many predators and other malicious Internet criminals are out there searching for information about you? And you know all the possible things they can do with that information?  The mere concept of putting your name, your birthday, your favorite things, your picture, your face, your list of “friends”, your e-mail address, is a scary concept when you look at all the things that these perverts can end up doing with that information. 

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you want to advertise somewhere, something of interest to you, or a fun social/commercial event, sure, put it out there in sites like myspace. But I don’t care how safe you think you are, you just don’t put your personal information for the whole world to see. I know that all of us are driven by that need to be famous, but believe me, the famous don’t want it. They don’t do it. It’s just not safe, nor smart. Again, here the risks outweigh the benefits. I can understand a singer, or a club owner posting info about their music, their CD, their party but could you imagine Madonna or Tom Cruise, or Rosie or Oprah, posting their personal information on line that way, or worse, posting their picture on a dating site? 

 

What if some of you turn out to be rich and famous (or probably already are and you know exactly what I’m talking about) down the road and then you’ll regret those things you placed on line. (Think National Enquirer material, the Globe and the like).  I hate to sound like your mother but really, do yourself a favor; don’t bother with those dating sites. Don’t bother posting your name, your picture, or the like. Again, the risks outweigh the benefits. Meeting people on line with the purpose of romance and partnering, in my opinion, is like mental masturbation. You are nowhere near touching the real thing. Most of it is in your head and when it become reality, chances are it’ll turn out to disappoint you.

 

Believe me, there are enough disappointments already in the real world. Forget about cyber space for potential partners. Too much risk and too much exposure with too little benefit. Play it safe. Making friends online first it’s probably the safer way to go. See what happens. But for dating and romance, put your mouse and keyboard aside and work the physical flesh and bones world. Get a little daring and get out there and meet real people, especially if you live in a large city like NY. You have so many options. And here’s where the Internet is very handy. Find out where to go and go. So, get yourself pretty, and get all of your senses involved the next time you meet that potential romantic partner. Stay away from cyber space for that sole and intimate purpose. Use it for information gathering, where to go, tips on this or that, but not for this. I cannot say it enough.

 

In the next couple of days I will be addressing a major potential security issue that we all need to address, even when meeting “potential friends” online. But for now, I’ll end the aspect of meeting possible romantic partners on line by saying, “Don’t bother. Too much at stake. Risks outweigh the benefits.” In a rating system, I’d give the concept of meeting worthwhile romantic partners, online, a mere D.

So, stay tuned for the next section. 'Till the next one!