Meeting her In School & Other Organizations

Photo credit: www.clublez.com

Many of my friends ask me all the time. “If not the Internet, or the Bars and Clubs, and with work being a risky situation, then where do go you meet women?”  I’ll tell you, in my experience the most significant romantic relationships I had, have been with women I met in the following places and in the following order: school/organizations, through friends, work (yes, I worked for a gigantic corporation), and lastly at the clubs and bars.

Photo credit: www.clublez.com

Keep in mind that the majority of women I have met in the life have been in the clubs and bars. Many of them have remained my friends and acquaintances, and quite a few I dated. So, based on that experience I could say that as much as you have quantity at the clubs and bars, the quality is going to come from that daily one-on-one interaction with that other person. And I guess that applies to all types of relationships. I believe it is on that daily interaction where you tend to really see each other beyond the flirtatious exchanges across a bar or a dance floor or over some alcoholic drink that only clouds your judgment in the end. So, while meeting people at the bars and clubs can be for fun, when you are looking for the real thing, a true connection, a real friendship, plus more, you want to have common goals, and that could happen in institutions such as work, school or some type of organization.

Photo Credit: cns.utexas.edu/student/ stuorgs5/05wcs.html

So, if you join an organization, take a course at a school at night or on weekends, join some kind of runners club, a charitable organization, a volunteer organization, you are likely to find women with whom you have things in common. Plus not only do you get to meet other interesting women, but you are either learning something or contributing to the communities around you in some way. It has a wonderful double benefit. It would certainly do away with the jitters of approaching her across the bar or the dance floor. It would certainly not affect your career potential and it would certainly beat the multiple risks you expose yourself to when meeting someone in cyberspace.

Photo Credit: http://www.sandiego.edu/usdlaw/images/Col_womanlawcaucus.jpg

These type of organizations, with a common not-for-profit goal, tend to provide an opportunity to come together, to exchange ideas (phone numbers, e-mails), and therefore provide members the ability to interact with each other with more ease. Of course, the more women-oriented, perhaps the more likely you are to meet women-oriented-women. You could perhaps join a lesbian organization. But it is NOT required for you to do so in order to meet women, because again, a woman does not need to label herself lesbian or bi in order to have a meaningful and successful romantic relationship with another woman, just like a woman who labels herself straight does not have any guarantees of having successful relationships with men.

Photo credit: www.clublez.com

So, where do you start? I’d say ask another friend of yours, preferably in "the life", if they know of any women organizations to join. Perhaps you may want to take a course at night, in a subject of your interest. Make sure the course you take meets a few times, not just once, so that it will give you the familiarity that blossoms into camaraderie and eventual connections. You could also ask yourself if there is a cause you’d want to be remembered for, long after you’re gone: animals, children, women’s health, teenagers, women’s abuse, perhaps a sports club, etc. There are so many options, as individual as you are.

So here I’m listing a couple of links to give you a head start. There will be some organization bound to meet your budget, time allowance and interest somewhere in that list. I could recommend a few, but those options are as personal as your preferences. For the record, these links are not commercial, they are purely informative. I just thought to give you a head start in researching women organizations.

So here they are:

http://www.library.wisc.edu/libraries/WomensStudies/orgs.htm 

At Yahoo!
 

ONE LAST BUT VERY IMPORTANT NOTE:

A couple of friends and I are in the midst of measuring the interest of single professional women in NYC having a monthly get together in different restaurants or lounges around the city.  I’m not necessarily talking about women older than 30. It could be any age, as long as your priorities are other than just hanging out at the bars and clubs, and you can hold your own in a networking exchange, meaning, you have to dress the part and be the part. Additionally, this would be open to all women of all backgrounds, meaning, you don't have to label yourself of any sexual preference to participate, as long as you remain open minded with those around you. This is a networking group we're trying to build for single women to meet and share things in common, such as dating, support, etc. This is for the woman that looks for options other than the bars and clubs to meet other women. Below are a couple of ideas we’re kicking around.

1. To meet just for the sake of meeting, networking and exchanging business cards. Perhaps going out after work for cocktails and dinner to some chic place. Perhaps assign a theme to each gathering. Check out new restaurants, museum exhibits, etc.
2. The other option is to pick a charitable organization for every meeting and donate part of the funds from these meetings to that organization.
3. A membership club. Where members would have to meet certain requirements such as age, a professional profile and a yearly commitment.

Again, these are just ideas we're throwing around. The final outcome would come out of all the feedback we'd gather.

If any of you are interested, please send me an e-mail to: mimi@askthenycgirl.com Please feel free to share your thoughts.

At this point, we’re only measuring the interest level. If we have enough women professionals interested and willing to commit to at least one gathering per quarter, we could set some venue and we’ll be announcing it here. This would be something by invitation only. Of course, you are welcome to invite your friends. Just make sure they reflect well on you. So, e-mail me, or post here, with a request not to be published. I will need an e-mail address. And again, this blog admin component is only seen by me, your blogstess. E-mail addresses are not used for any other purposes, except to reply to you. Of course, you can always create a separate e-mail just for this. Whatever you choose to do, I look forward to hearing from those of you who are interested.

So, stay tuned. More to come.  You can also subscribe to this blog, any updates will go to your e-mail the moment they are published.