Flying Deep

The concept of jumping off, to fly away, and fall deep into something amazing, with no holds barred.

There is a scary moment when you recognize you love a woman, her essence, the way she makes you feel, the way you feel about each other, when nothing you ever believed to be right about love fits with this new experience. The moment comes when you have to throw out your old rules, your old beliefs and old standards, and just allow yourself to experience, to be.

Such is a rare moment of realization that few of us dare to face.

And that’s one of the lessons this 40-something know-it-all NYC Girl has had to learn lately. And as much as it is a scary lesson, it is one that liberates you. For to have the gift of that special someone who thinks of you often and desires to be with you, someone who reciprocates your feelings, someone with whom to share intimate loving thoughts in your life, it is a privilege. One we should not turn away, and pick it apart and find ways to let it slip out of our lives.

Life is difficult and complicated enough as it is. No doubt. And one of our biggest drives is that of survival. Fear of pain ranking high on the list. We all fear getting hurt. Yet, we often fail to realize the fact that if we do not open ourselves to the experience of love, in whichever form it comes, then we’d be denying ourselves the most beautiful gift the higher being has given us. Instead, our fear of pain kicks in and we start picking it apart, questioning why did it come in the form of this, or that, or in this person or in this situation, or imagining scenarios that have not even occurred. Fear.

Yes, life can get complicated because people and situations in life can keep us from realizing our ultimate dreams about this special love, with this special person. But as no non-sense this NYC Girl can be, somewhere deep hidden there lays a hopeless romantic. Yes, I have my rules and standards, just like you my dear reader, in order to keep self from getting hurt. But I am also human enough to realize that dreams can come true, that the impossible is only impossible as of now, that it can change in the flick of a moment.

Yes, I am romantic and idealistic enough (despite my age) to recognize that if we free ourselves from our past experiences, from our fears, from our past relationship failings, and just go in with an open mind into a new love situation with someone, if it’s meant to be, it will be. And if it isn’t, then we’ll just have to pick ourselves up and keep walking, until the next experience comes along. We have to remember that life goes on and that successful or not in our romantic lives, life does go on. So, why allow ourselves to be frozen in our fear of getting hurt?

Perhaps that is the basis for the infamous term “Fear of Intimacy”. And I think we all have it at some point in our lives. Some of us in more elevated forms than others. But there are things that as human beings we need to face in order to get over this fear.

Know and understand well that it is our destiny to get hurt. I have come to that realization. For even if the object of our affection doesn’t mean it, there will be something. Guaranteed. And we all get past it. We all get over it. We all do.

And so, as much as I would love to tell you my dear reader, to go ahead and apply the rules from my previous article urging you to be cautious —for those are rules of the head, of the intellect, analyzing the past and trying to prevent future hurt— I say to you today, follow your heart. For yes, the likelihood of pain is guaranteed. But the ultimate freeing feeling of being in peace with that, will allow you to experience the now with that special woman. And that is worth all else. For there are no guarantees tomorrow.

So, if you’re teetering on the edge of a possibility, and fear is holding you back, make peace with your fear of getting hurt. Reach out to the object of your affection and tell her how you feel. And if she has also arrived to the same place you are, then you’ll have something incredibly special. For it can become something you’ll be able to carry with you everywhere and for the rest of your life, regardless of the ultimate result. What ultimately will happen between the two of you in a far distant future won’t matter, for what will only matter will be the present moments with her. That is after all, what life is about. Moments. One at a time.