When Challenge Strikes
On Courage
As much as we are seven years into the new millenium, and we're not yet living in outer space nor wearing any of those slim-shaping space-style bodysuits depicted in Star Trek, we have experienced many advances from only 100 years ago.
We can now steer our lives and daily decisions right out of our handheld devices. We can browse the world wide web on our cell phones, and fly across continents in hours. But no matter how far we have made it into the tech world, into our new millenium, it seems to me that as human beings we haven't advanced much. As homo sapiens we are still victims to our many flaws and weaknesses. As we read history and literature, as well as the latest headlines, it seems at times that we are even going backwards in our behavior as civilized beings, regardless of country or continent.
But I won't spend much of your time complaining about what's wrong with the world. That's not what this article is about.
Today, we're going to talk about courage in the face of fear. Yes, Fear, that nasty 4-letter word, which in my opinion, is our worst enemy as human beings. And it applies to every one of us who inhabit this planet.
And it would be easy to fall into the false illusion that things are worse now more than ever. Some of us will always long for the times when things "were better", when "the world was innocent", when the "world felt safer". But truth is, as we grow into adulthood, read history, literature, headlines, old and new, we need to realize that it has always been as good as before, as bad as before, as "innocent" as ever, as "corrupt as ever" and as much as many will dispute it, I believe the world is as safe as before, and as unsafe as before. The difference is that today, we have more access to news across the world and cameras that show us video footage we have not seen before. But many are things that have been occurring all along, through the ages, someplace in the history of this planet.
But why am I saying all this?
Well, many business publications and reputable journals have began to talk about the word "Recession". The mishandling of a certain segment of the mortgage industry, they blame, has begun a downward spiral of global markets. And the experts who say the markets are always months ahead of the economy, are adding to their analysis the discouraging current unemployment numbers, and they say the signs are pointing to a likely recession.
So, why would The NYC Girl talk about recession? In this blog that is about women? Dating women? Going out with women?
For one, it is important that we remain informed about what's going on, regardless of gender or preference. Because if we don't, sooner or later these world-issues will come into our backyards, touching our lives, and ultimately crawling into our dining rooms, where we'll have to make decisions between paying the bills or putting food on the table. And as dark and grim as this may seem, we need to be prepared, as women of any orientation. We need to be prepared to brace ourselves just in case the analysts and the doomsayers are right.
And this note is not about validating the rumors out there. This note is about beginning to have a mindset where we are prepared, just in case. After all, we are about to enter the 4th quarter of the year. A quarter that to us consumers, means more spending, whether it is in the new look and clothes of the season, the plentiful parties of the Season, of Holidays, of gift-giving, it is time to prepare.
And should the doomsayers be wrong, and we did prepare, we'll just end up in a better place and with more resources.
But times could become difficult for many. So, if you're interviewing for a job, or thinking of opening up a business or investing, for example, make sure you're looking into a recession-proof industry, such as medical, pharma, etc. The lists of such recession-proof segments are available if you research the topic. Also, try to minimize expenses and keep some cash set aside, and immediately available.
Lately a few movies have been playing on cable, movies about overcoming adversity. And even if no recession were to hit, we know we all encounter some kind of major personal challenge in our lives. Some of you may be going through it now, or have just gone through it, or will.
For some of us it may mean approaching that woman you're crazy about and just can't bring yourself to say anything. For some it may mean facing the fact that we love women and the life-changing consequences of even considering that are unbearable just to think about. For some of us it may mean facing up to our feelings and telling that significant other how we really feel, whether it is time to break up, or time to bring it to the next level. Or simply, time to bare our hearts to them.
On the more practical end, fear of success, fear of getting what we really want, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, of ridicule, of being wrong, of being right, of making mistakes, are ghosts sitting in the back of our minds, scaring us and keeping us frozen, unable to move forward and take action.
There have been stories of many who have overcome. Their stories have become inmortalized in the movies. At times I find myself watching some of these movies, which have been playing lately, —-actually I have a TV here in my home office and let them run as I work. At times I stop doing what I'm doing, for something is said, something is done, that catches my ear. Something daring, something different about those characters, that makes the movie what it is, a story worth telling. And there is a prevalent common message about them all. It is about getting outside of our own skin, of our own comfort zone, to make a certain goal, overcome a certain situation, and it forces the characters to do things differently than normally done.
And it is amazing to see how many of these stories are based in real stories, about real beings who overcame, who were stripped of all they knew and had to start all over again. And it makes me think. At times we're going to make major mistakes, fail majorly, be rejected majorly, be betrayed majorly and feel incredibly stupid for having trusted someone, or hurt someone, or be hurt or embarrassed, or angry, all in response to some major or even minor event that life throws unexpectedly our way.
And when that happens we have to imagine that the moment a major challenge rises in our lives, it is the beginning of our "movie", of our own story. And we need to think about our situation and ask ourselves. Is my story going to be worth telling one day? Or am I going to sit here and be frozen by fear and let it keep me from moving forward and face whatever the challenge is? A challenge, even as minute as smiling back at that pretty stranger sitting across from you, can be daunting when faced with fear surrounding you.
So, I say to you today, this world may feel more scary, more uncertain, more unsafe. But it is the way it has always been. And if you read the stories of those who have survived times past, we'll realize our challenges are no greater than theirs. And it is those who survive whose stories we hear later on.
This coming Tuesday it'll be the sixth anniversary of 9/11, a grim reminder that tells us the world is changing, and at the same time the triumphant story of overcoming. I consider this event the day when things came into our backyard, because the world has always been as unsafe as ever, and as safe as ever. And as thousands died, thousands more overcame the challenges that such an event brought. Life went on for them. Today there is the potential of a recession. Many of you reading this article are probably facing foreclosure, even bankruptcies, or some scary diagnosis, or job loss. Perhaps your business is not doing so well and you don't know where your next source of cash will come from.
And it would be so, so easy to place our head in our hands and say, "Why?! Why me?!"
And when we're done with that, we will have no choice but to keep walking. For as we sit there, the earth continues to rotate, the minutes continue to move along the clock. For life keeps going regardless of what happpens, regardless of what we do.
So I say to you all facing major challenges out there, don't despair. For in the face of all adversity, even if the world lets you down, your parents, your friends, your lover, your colleagues, you still have yourself, the #1 person you can count on. No one knows you better than yourself. And only you will know what's best for you. And if you don't have the answers, you are resourceful enough to find them. You can be your own best friend, though often we make the mistake of becoming our own worst enemy. Thankfully, it is never too late to make up with our own inner selves and start fixing things.
So when the chips are down, do not despair, just keep walking. Be mentally prepared to overcome anything. And more importantly, not only believe in yourself and the ability to overcome, but make sure you try something new, something different you haven't tried before. It'll feel odd at first, but it's supposed to, for it's not familiar.
I read somewhere that the difference between the coward and the brave is that the brave goes ahead and does what she needs to do anyway, despite fear. Having courage to do the necessary, despite our fears, despite naysayers, is the only way to live a fulfilling life.
So, let's be prepared, be mentally ready and tough for anything that may come our way. And if we fall, well, then we dust ourselves off, or lick our wounds for a bit. But then, when ready, get up, and keep walking our paths. For there's always a next.
P.S.
Here's the list of inpirational movies, based on real and unique life stories that I've watched through my life and have inspired this article. Will your story be in this list one day? How many have you seen? Are there any others I did not mention here?
1. Dreamer (Based on a true story) — (Look up Mariah's Storm)
2. Cinderella Man
3. Remember the Titans
4. Erin Brokovich
5. Invincible
6. Catch me if you can
7. 300
8. Freedom Writers
9. Frida
10. The Pianist
11. Pursuit of Happiness
12. Radio
13. The Rookie
14. Schindler's List
15. Seabiscuit
16. Titanic
17. United 93
18. Walk the Line
19. Breach
20. Silkwood (a classic with Merryl Streep)
21. Norma Rae
22. Coal Miner's Daughter
23. Not without my daughter
24. Out of Africa
25. Elizabeth (Cate Blanchet)
2. Cinderella Man
3. Remember the Titans
4. Erin Brokovich
5. Invincible
6. Catch me if you can
7. 300
8. Freedom Writers
9. Frida
10. The Pianist
11. Pursuit of Happiness
12. Radio
13. The Rookie
14. Schindler's List
15. Seabiscuit
16. Titanic
17. United 93
18. Walk the Line
19. Breach
20. Silkwood (a classic with Merryl Streep)
21. Norma Rae
22. Coal Miner's Daughter
23. Not without my daughter
24. Out of Africa
25. Elizabeth (Cate Blanchet)
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Thanks for your time,
Bambi Weavil
CEO and Publisher of Out Impact, Inc.
OutImpact.com - Making a positive impact in the gay community. Make yours.
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