Ask The NYC Girl: Recent Comments

Comment on So you are curious....

2009-03-13T17:43:27Z

Soon to come... I'll be setting up a chat program for all women to come to this site and meet and ask each other questions and get to know each other better in a safe girl-run environment. So, check in within the next few weeks. Thanks for visiting.

Comment on So you are curious....

2009-03-06T22:16:19Z

Hi Ladies:::courious freshee on the block here. O.K. I will have to admit Im 50...I have always had a desire to be with another woman..but, unfortunatly I have NEVER had the oportunity to. I feel as though time is flying by too quickly and I do not want to miss out on a one on one experience with a woman. It warms me to think about being with a woman. HOW DO I go about having an encounter descretly? How do I go about meeting another woman without making a fool out of myself.

Comment on When Challenge Strikes

2008-03-15T22:33:17Z

Hi there, I had surfed on your website recently and wanted to contact you personally, and this seems to be the only way to do it. My name is Bambi Weavil, I'm CEO and Publisher of Out Impact, Inc. I wanted to reach out to you to see if you'd like what we're about as well. Out Impact, Inc. is also OutImpact.com, and we are a online gay publication. Our motto is "Making a positive impact in the gay community. Make yours." You can check out our work at OutImpact.com, where we are big believers in not only gay activism and gay-related stories, but we are big believers in activism in general. We launched in July with a special interview with the one and only Cyndi Lauper and have been continually updating with various entertainment and socially-conscious stories! This is just the beginning of great things to come.

We are also doing national events that help raise money for non-profits. Everything we do we tie to non-profit and awareness. I wanted to invite you to our April 2nd event at Splash in NYC, our first national event, which partial-proceeds would benefit Sylvia's Place and their fifth anniversary. Sylvia's Place is one of five emergency homeless shelters in the entire country dedicated to helping LGBTQ youth that are homeless and displaced. We have various sponsors contributing including HX as our presenting sponsor, as well as alcohol sponsors 4 Copas and Zodiac Vodka. It's 7p-11p at Splash on April 2nd and tickets are $15. We're giving 100 VIP gift bags to the first 100 people who purchase tickets. More information is on our site at http://www.outimpact.com/events/.

Hope you'll consider my invitation and if you decide to come support this great cause, please introduce yourself!

Thanks for your time,
Bambi Weavil
CEO and Publisher of Out Impact, Inc.
OutImpact.com - Making a positive impact in the gay community. Make yours.

Comment on Frequently Asked Questions on the Lifestyle

2007-02-23T16:47:10Z

I am very curious in speaking or meeting the person who does this blog.

For a few reason, first I love the way you write. Second I was thinking of doing something like this website. Have advice?
I have question for you. I am years old a paralegal. I am tired of kids I want a woman someone who got a good job maybe upscale. I always wonder how I meet those sexy, smart established woman. So Do you know where they hide?

Comment on Friends into Lovers

2006-11-03T23:35:43Z

Sometimes,
even if she takes a week to respond,
she could be perfect for you.
And you'll realise the perceived 'lie'
was exactly that.
A perception.

Enjoy each moment you have.

Comment on Where I have been

2006-08-04T21:26:53Z

What an uplifting take on Herstory, the divine trinity according to the NYC girl.
It almost makes me want to go to a Madonna concert!
I wonder if you will be making a report from Paris, NYC girl? Her next stop.

Comment on So, your heart is aching

2006-07-12T03:46:44Z

Your situation is a tough one. But as a friend, I would also tell you that the moment you agreed to an "open" relationship, you must have thought about this as a possible (and the least desired of all) outcome. Of course, you probably thought about it but did not think it would happen. We all hope for the best, always. But someone very dear to me recently reminded me that the secret to remaining happy is to lower our expectations of others, especially when it comes to those closest to us. As sad as it sounds, it would save us a lot of heartbreak if we kept our expectations low. And I am really sorry to hear you are in a situation you obviously did not really want. And in this case, when you agreed to the open relationship, you must have thought about this being the most likely scenario.

Whatever reasons you both had for agreeing to an "open relationship" were signaling that you were looking perhaps for other things that you are not finding in your current relationship. In my opinion, and this is merely the opinion of a person who's huge on a one-on-one relationship and believes in total loyalty, the moment you both agreed to dating other people, there must have been gigantic red flags going off in the back of your minds.

I can relate to the pain of feeling shuffled aside, after having been "the one". God knows all of us have felt that at some point in our lives. I would ask myself if I were you, what is special and unique, and more importantly, salvageable, about this "relationship". Perhaps if you two were honest and open enough to discuss dating other people, maybe it's time you sat down again and discussed how you are feeling right now. See how she reacts to your honesty. You have to tell her how you feel. And she also needs to be honest with you, however bitter the truth may be. My God, if she's not aware of how you are feeling, then you should seriously consider moving on. No one can be that selfish and expect someone to stick around. You're a human being with feelings, for goodness sake! But before we go making any asssumptions, the best thing you need to do is talk to her, one on one, when the other woman is not around. Take it from there. But use your head, not just your heart. If by any chance you feel that she is not taking care of your feelings, you have to know in your heart that you deserve better, and do what you need to do.

And perhaps, if this is the case, then take up your part of the bargain. Go out and meet yourself a nice lady, or two. Start seeing other women. Who knows, perhaps you have not met "the one" after all.

On the other hand, if the object of your affection (and affliction) realizes she's hurting you with her behavior, and makes the effort of acting in some considerate way, aware of your feelings, then you need to ask yourselves where do you want to go next with this. If you really love each other and want to remain in a relationship with each other, why add other people? And in front of each other!! I commend you for even thinking that you were strong enough to handle that. Some people can, but I think they are more the exception than the rule. I know I could not. I'd be devastated.

What's unfortunate is that you have already opened Pandora's Box. There's little you can do to "take it back". But like the Greek Myth tells at the end, there is always hope.

Your situation is going to need a lot of communication, courage and time. I hope you have plenty of the three and if this relationship is worth it, hopefully it'll be something you will both look back at one day and rather not remember.

Comment on So, your heart is aching

2006-07-10T02:51:50Z

I am going through the exact same thing right now. My girlfriend and I decided to try an open relationship and i thought it would work as long as we both understood that eachother came first but she has met a friend who she seems to be really into and now im just getting shuffled aside and i feel like old news. its the worst but tonite was the last straw and i have also decided, what i knew a long time ago actually which is that i have to get refocused and tend to myself and my interests because its so hard to deal with a person rejecting you after three years but then watch them fall for someone else at the same time. sigh

Comment on Meeting Women – Part 3 - Bars and Clubs

2006-07-05T04:34:48Z

Well, my dear Mmmmmonkey friend,

True to your nature, no doubt. Hee, hee.

Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. Without giving too much away here, I want to state that my reason for discouraging participating in threesomes --as a way to start a romantic connection with a woman-- does come from experience, having been in triangular situations. My curiousity was to learn about your point of view and have you share it here in this forum. But bottom line, to each its own and our dear readers here can take this advice or leave it.

Your point of view is certainly one that fits that of a pleasure seeker, someone who's still searching for experiences in life, and I commend you for that. I just want to caution those who are looking for a little more than that, the recommendation to do a threesome (and I was originally talking about the one that includes a man) is NOT the way to go when you want to start a relationship with a woman. I just want to clarify that. Ms. Monkey's example here is a totally different threesome and for a totally different purpose.

For a meaningful connection with another woman, triangles of any kind are NOT the way to go. Been there and also have done that. So, I think I've earned the right to state my opinion on "nothing beats anything" on that issue. Right? But does that make me right or wrong? Well, let me put it to you this way. It's all according to how much we've lived, experienced and in the end, what our priorities are at the time. And if experience is your priority, by all means, no one should be held back, even from an all-girl threesome. Yet, like our dear Monkey friend said, there are certain things you must keep in mind or it could be "disastrous". After all, for the sake of pleasure and experience, you call your own shots as a woman. Right? Such a situation will be ultimately up to each and everyone of us to decide at the time when it presents itself. But I still stick to my recommendation that when it comes to matters of the heart, I will always advocate the one-on-one experience. And nothing beats that. Your heart will thank you.

Comment on Meeting Women – Part 3 - Bars and Clubs

2006-07-04T00:03:12Z

Dear MiMi,
An experience for the books? Im sure other girls have been in my position.Ha. No, seriously, i know of other women who have been involved in such an experience.
As you say, it's not the way to meet someone. But, It can be an amazing way of expanding your sexuality. To be sensible? That's all about knowing what is going on with the other parties, and having a very open dialogue and clarity in one's own mind in regard to this. The bottomline is trust as always. As it happened for me, I joined a couple who had been friends of mine. It's complicated, sure, but it can and does work. The shared experience is like nothing else. (I don't know you can say that 'nothing beats' anything you haven't tried! right?) It seriously has shifted my understanding of having a sexual experience and helped me to be more open in my own mind. The one on one connection is really important, yes, although entirely different. Experiences such as these are challenging, but in terms of sensuality, I can't think of anything more pleasurable! As I say, if the situation manifests, enjoy it! I hope this abates your curiosity sufficiently...or fuels it!